Essays

The present generation after having lived in a joint family system have taken the initiative to break out and start a nuclear family. This generation very well appreciates the strengths and weaknesses of both the systems. Joint and Nuclear Family Systems.

One of the major reasons why this generation was desperate to break out of the joint family was the attitude of the older generation to impose their views and thoughts on the young generation . In some families the father's word would be the final word and nobody could dare say or do anything against it. Such an autocratic

style of leading a family leads to repression and suppression giving rise to feelings of discontentment and unhappiness.

Another reason responsible for disintegration of the old joint family system was the constant interference and meddling by elders in the matters of youngsters. The young generation have their own life style, own way of enjoyment and own way of leading the life. Living under one roof does not have to be about

transgressing the personal life of other members.

The other factor that gave rise to nuclear families was industrialization. Industrial revolution brought with it increase in job opportunities in and around major industrialized and commercial cities and towns. This forced men and women to move out of their family home and away from the parents. In this case, often the parents who remained emotionally attached to the place where they spent most of their life preferred to continue staying in their family home and accepted with some sadness their children starting out new life away from them.

The generation that broke out of the old joint family system did so when individualistic thinking began to gain predominance in the society. It was exciting to explore, experiment and establish a living set up on one's own. The nuclear family gave immense freedom from the traditions and ways of life that the old system was ridden with. Hence whenever and wherever the parents and the grown up adult children could not get along well and when the adult children could afford to build a house to call their own nuclear families began to be formed. As it happens  with most changes in the society, initially the people from the old system did not take this change very well. They were saddened to see the disintegration of family values and system and emergence of individualistic nuclear families. However, gradually when nuclear families became the order of the day. the old generation- slowly began to accept the realities and became comfortable with it.

The one and only major gain that is seen from the 'nuclear family' system if the opportunity it provides the individual to create an identity of his own- something a human beings crave for and are born for. But there are many

disadvantages of the nuclear system such as  - -

(a) feeling alone in this world, being physically far removed from the family members and as a result inadvertently getting disconnected and disassociated from their hearts and minds.

(b) coping with several problems - big and small on our own as we are unable to afford the privilege of sharing and downloading worries on someone (other than spouse) whom we feel close and connected to facing the big problem of bringing up children alone, only relying on child care centre’s. In Indian cities and towns, it can be even more difficult where there are not enough 1'acilitie-s available for care of children. This has led to increase in several problems like depression, suicides and heart disorders

due to highly stressed lives.

(c) missing out on celebrations and festivities that binds us to our culture and gives us a sense of being at home. This is more relevant to those living out of the country.

(d)as you have left your parents, your children will also follow your footsteps, you will be alone in your old age. the fear has forced the young generation to find some tangible solution to this problems and now they have been gradually realizing the benefits of joint family system with some modification.

(e) having difficulty in passing on the cultural values to our children. Cultural'

values are learnt and taught by seeing them in action.

The advantage and disadvantage of both the systems are many but if we are to revive and revamp the 'joint family system' model to create a new one we need to think how can we learn from the mistakes that we made in old joint family system and create a new system with the insight gained from the experiences of nuclear and

joint family system.

If the joint family system is laid on the founding stone of mutual and genuine love and respect for each and every member (including children) then the system is guaranteed to be a success. It helps to keep in mind that love, respect and affection are things that can be only commanded and not demanded.

Family members need to communicate openly and honestly with one another. The elders in the family must encourage and create an environment conducive to open communication. In the absence of such an environment, family members can feel repressed and suppressed that can lead to discontentment.

Non-judgmental listening and demonstrating mutual trust are necessary to help family members open up to one another.

It is important that members in a joint family system feel accepted for who they are and as they are. The crucial part of acceptance of one another is acceptance of our own weaknesses and limitations and that of others. By doing this, expectations of members of one another become more realistic. Realistic expectations help us to be more tolerant of weaknesses of one another. Having unrealistic expectations of others is often the root cause of disappointments and discontentment with others.

For a Joint family system to be a place where the members feel valued and nurtured, acknowledgement of the strengths and different positive aspects that each member brings to the family and being grateful for the same is useful and even necessary.

A joint family system can become a training ground for the future generation to learn and develop attributes and skills of living in harmony with fellow citizens in a society. If our current family model is reflective of a lifestyle that is based on selfish existence and intolerance to others views then how can we expect the society (of which such a family is a unit) to be any different. A joint family system can help to build a society that is more tolerant of personal differences in views and thoughts and where people appreciate and carry forward the value of mutual respect, love and co-operation.

Vocabulary

1. desperate—daring, hold, madcap, wild; 2. conducive—useful, favorable, advantageous; 3. crucial—testing, trying, searching: 4. tolerant— catholic, forbearing, patient; 5. nurtured—foster, cherish; 6. predominance— prevalence, majority, high proportion; 7. afford—produce, bear, supply, give; 8. stressed—harassed, strained, frazzled; 9. revive—revitalize, renew, perk up, restart; 10. repressed—suppress. contain, hold back, limit: 11. tolerant—broad-minded, liberal, forbearing; 12. root—origin, cause, basis, core; 13. appreciate—gain. grow. rise, mount, inflate; 14. transgressing—overstep, exceed, infringe; 15. suppression—conquering, crushing, extinction.